Thursday, August 23, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Hey, Chaci !
In about 10 months I'm going to be done with school all together. I'll be done in my 3year time line. It took a while...
And though I can qualify it all--I wouldn't change a thing as to how things turned out. I've been a relationship for 5 months going on 6, 2 degrees on the way, job offers from China are pouring in like rain and I feel like the blessed guy in the world.
The love of a woman astounds me--it perplexes my heart and mind. It is so crazy how you can know a person and still have them be a complete and utter mystery to you. After, all the crap I went through in my 20's and all the things life had to throw at me. I'm still here.
I'm at a loss for words really....
I've been writing on and off the last few days. I took a 2 month break to relax and spend time with my awesome girlfriend. (Quite frankly I'm amazed because she is REALLY hot--fitness instructor that she is of course.)
Soon I'll be preparing my manuscript in the next year. And really focusing on my next phase of life...namely an MFA!
I was thinking of Scott Baio if I spelled his name right. You know that dude who played the Fonz's cousin? HEYYYYY!!!!
Granted the dude looks better and is way richer than I--seeing his life on a reality show the other day. He was all bummed out because he's in his 40's and not married...it made me feel pretty damn good. Because he's had all these opportunities and life has been pretty easy for the guy.
And he has to hire a life coach to access his life for him...sad really. I took a good look at my life last month...and even now. It wasn't so bad.
Life is life.
How we define ourselves and handle our choices--how we decide to take a step in the right direction when we're going through hell or just moments of loneliness.
Life is what we make of it. It's what we do with ourselves in the light and in the dark.
And right now--I'm flying high and feel like Chachi has nothing on this cat.
And though I can qualify it all--I wouldn't change a thing as to how things turned out. I've been a relationship for 5 months going on 6, 2 degrees on the way, job offers from China are pouring in like rain and I feel like the blessed guy in the world.
The love of a woman astounds me--it perplexes my heart and mind. It is so crazy how you can know a person and still have them be a complete and utter mystery to you. After, all the crap I went through in my 20's and all the things life had to throw at me. I'm still here.
I'm at a loss for words really....
I've been writing on and off the last few days. I took a 2 month break to relax and spend time with my awesome girlfriend. (Quite frankly I'm amazed because she is REALLY hot--fitness instructor that she is of course.)
Soon I'll be preparing my manuscript in the next year. And really focusing on my next phase of life...namely an MFA!
I was thinking of Scott Baio if I spelled his name right. You know that dude who played the Fonz's cousin? HEYYYYY!!!!
Granted the dude looks better and is way richer than I--seeing his life on a reality show the other day. He was all bummed out because he's in his 40's and not married...it made me feel pretty damn good. Because he's had all these opportunities and life has been pretty easy for the guy.
And he has to hire a life coach to access his life for him...sad really. I took a good look at my life last month...and even now. It wasn't so bad.
Life is life.
How we define ourselves and handle our choices--how we decide to take a step in the right direction when we're going through hell or just moments of loneliness.
Life is what we make of it. It's what we do with ourselves in the light and in the dark.
And right now--I'm flying high and feel like Chachi has nothing on this cat.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Lea
I have to say that at this point in my life--the human experience feels complete. There is someone in my life for the time-being anyways (another story)...sharing my life with someone has been unique.
The things I have learned from her and about myself have been in awe.
I--can not believe that I am so capable of touch and being touched.
Power and grace--
touch and feelings
emotion and strength--
It is not easy to have someone suddenly there either....and yet--it is an awesome sensation. I am able to share my intimate moments with a personal friend.
Life at this point in time is good.
The things I have learned from her and about myself have been in awe.
I--can not believe that I am so capable of touch and being touched.
Power and grace--
touch and feelings
emotion and strength--
It is not easy to have someone suddenly there either....and yet--it is an awesome sensation. I am able to share my intimate moments with a personal friend.
Life at this point in time is good.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Friday, February 9, 2007
The Things We Carry
Lately--I have been feeling my age. Yeah, I'm only 30 as of this past Wednesday to be exact. I will have to explain of course what I mean by that...if you have ever seen Lord of The Rings part 3 there is a scene towards the ending. The tavern scene where Frodo and his companions are having some ale. Meanwhile, everyone else is getting all excited about a pumpking--and all they can do is shrug and smile.
What I liked about that scene in the book is how Tolkien captured veterans reactions to the simplicity of life. You acknowledge it with a smile, but you know deep inside because of your intense experiences with life--that you never be able to do the same ever again.
My whole life has been intense...I know that there are times that I do intimidate people or in some cases--even make them uncomfortable. Now I am not going around proclaiming to world pity me. What I am saying is that when I talk to todays generation that is when I see the generation gap. Even when talking to my own peers--I have the same problem.
I do not mind spending my life alone. In fact I have made my peace with it...I just hate the longing and want--to experience love emotionally, spiritually and physically. I have had some moments that I came close too selling out. The only people I can ever really relate too are others of my own similar experience, elders and veterans. The veterans are a tricky bunch because they have experienced something elseo of course. They killed people and saw people die by their own hand--
What amazes me is that some while and I would NEVER coax someone into telling me their story...some of them have shared them with me. When I talk about my brother--and how he died. One of them and I have too agree--said that seeing death in whatever form it decided to take is too much.
I've seen it three times.
Then you add all the other experiences that I have had and that only intensifies the soul and heart.
I know a lot of people think that I am happy go lucky, funny, witty, a comedian basically and yet--it is the only way I know how to get through the day. Even some of my younger friends for unknown reasons equate humor with maturity.
Other times I like to be self-deprecating--
I don't act my age because how can I?
I may be 30, but I do feel older than this number. I am never sure if that will make sense to any of you people. I just know that it shows in my writing and that a lot of people can see that and think what they want to think.
My battle scars, pieces of my heart and pain are the things that I carry.
What I liked about that scene in the book is how Tolkien captured veterans reactions to the simplicity of life. You acknowledge it with a smile, but you know deep inside because of your intense experiences with life--that you never be able to do the same ever again.
My whole life has been intense...I know that there are times that I do intimidate people or in some cases--even make them uncomfortable. Now I am not going around proclaiming to world pity me. What I am saying is that when I talk to todays generation that is when I see the generation gap. Even when talking to my own peers--I have the same problem.
I do not mind spending my life alone. In fact I have made my peace with it...I just hate the longing and want--to experience love emotionally, spiritually and physically. I have had some moments that I came close too selling out. The only people I can ever really relate too are others of my own similar experience, elders and veterans. The veterans are a tricky bunch because they have experienced something elseo of course. They killed people and saw people die by their own hand--
What amazes me is that some while and I would NEVER coax someone into telling me their story...some of them have shared them with me. When I talk about my brother--and how he died. One of them and I have too agree--said that seeing death in whatever form it decided to take is too much.
I've seen it three times.
Then you add all the other experiences that I have had and that only intensifies the soul and heart.
I know a lot of people think that I am happy go lucky, funny, witty, a comedian basically and yet--it is the only way I know how to get through the day. Even some of my younger friends for unknown reasons equate humor with maturity.
Other times I like to be self-deprecating--
I don't act my age because how can I?
I may be 30, but I do feel older than this number. I am never sure if that will make sense to any of you people. I just know that it shows in my writing and that a lot of people can see that and think what they want to think.
My battle scars, pieces of my heart and pain are the things that I carry.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
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