The last two years I have been training for a marathon...and really beating the hell out of my body to get into sync--sometimes I...do it to try to understand the pain my brother endured. I never will...but there is more to it than meets the eye.
I have been dealing with a ton of chips in my heart these last two years. And I really want to do something with my life--not for the praise of man. It is something that I have to be aware of and at times--whether people know it or not--tell me.
I have been looking for help and support for a marathon...in that I am hoping to find the right people who are willing to be selfless. And already I see that it will be no easy task to do this small thing. So that being the case it looks like it is going to be up to me to take on the challenge. What can I say? I never know when to give up.
I have been reading about Terry Fox lately. I remember him when I was four--before I even knew what cancer was or what it did to the body and the finality of death in this life. I remember some of the news reports and the movie--when he died the way people cried for a person they never met.
And then he was forgotten.
His thought process--the will to defend what you believe (even if you are wrong--a.k.a stubborn (terreco) ) The way he would not let a mile beat him...even if people told him that it was not possible (I am assuming--but that mentality had to be there too if they did) he did it to prove to himself that it could be done.
Some of the things that he said I heard before...from my brother and other patients ...the way cancer patients endure pain and sickness...they should not have to go through. Believe me--you never want to hear someone just give up...only to die a few minutes later...I saw things at M.D. Anderson that many others there have seen b/c they work there--or are a patient there...
The children are--it...is hard to see.
The screams of people crying...family members asking you when do you think your brother is going to check out (rude I know--but it happens when people lose hope and become negative)...patients crying because the medicine burns your soul on the inside--
I hope that I can do something with my life worth while. This is not about legacy or remembrance for me...this is personal and quite frankly tired of being selfish with my time.
If your not familiar with Terry Fox here is a link you can check out...in my opinion he is a bigger person than Lance. But that is my opinion--you can parallel their lives and decide for yourself.
http://www.terryfoxrun.org/english/home/default.asp?s=1
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