Do You See What I See?

I am a very analytical person.

So--there are times I like to analyze movies, songs, books...and people. I can do a decent job of reading a person. Although I have gotten into trouble at times--not for being wrong, but for being right.

The little things like facial twitches, people breaking eye contact, change in body posture, breathing, and voice. Other times--and I do this a lot by habit now and sometimes intentionally...telling the same story over again to see if they were listening to me the first time.

I suppose that last part is a bit manipulative.

And then again--it could go both ways. I shouldn't have to tell you something more than twice to see if you were listening.

I learned a while back to expect the worse and whatever good that happens is surprise. I learned that of course from the movie Say Anything if I remember correctly. Its the one with John Cusack.

I can be a very good actor and bad enemy my best friend tells me.

Other times--and because it has happened a lot people are never sure what role I am playing. I can be a good actor. I admit this when it comes to wanting to know who my friends are....

Life has a tendacy to make us all busy and I understand this--it is only when people want something from you and take and give nothing back that bothers me.

And then again to expect anything back on any level is superficial. What I'm learning is too do it anyways and it makes for personal integrity. When you do what is unseen by people--only by God.

There is to be no return or gain.

I do not do the things for my fellow man because I want to please them or impress anyone. Then that would be personal gratification...

I do them because God enables me to do them through His Holy Spirit.

I have been let down a few times by friends, professors, pastors, and family. There are times I want to believe that we all need a friend. Although more often by pastors and professors...although not to many friends--mainly because I do not have to many.

Eh, I'm working on that these days--living outside myself.

Until people and myself included learn to be a better friend...will we be able to see each other for who we are....
I hope you can see that much.