I See Coltrane In Your Eyes

Hmm...I had some interesting discussions these last two weeks. I guess you could say more giving of myself--a degree of my life being shared with people who needed to hear words of inspiration.

I never really consider them inspiration--more--like a reality check may be?

Everybody has a struggle.

Everybody. And depending on your definition of what a sin is (sin is sin in the context of the Bible...it is just that some of us get really creative with our corruption)...God does see us through this life if we choose to hear Him and follow Him.

Sovereignty and free will are a can of worms I will not get into--

What I do know just scanning the lives of some of the jazz greats like Mile Davis or John Coltrane and Louis Armstrong (who really had some pain to hide...I had always wondered that--may be as artists, poets, and writers we can pick up on those kind of things--) who after internally focusing all their effort overcame.

Now I do not subscribe to Eastern Religions...as interesting as they are and then holding them to God's Truth. They do not have the weight of the Cross or the Resurrection--I digress.

WHAT I do find interesting is that as artists we...all seem to come up with the best material (I'm speaking generally---I do not and will not make the claim I am up to par with these guys or other greats. I merely spoke in human terms.) in our tragedy and pain we produce some profound material and--people can sense that pain, hurt, love (big words I know).

In one of my blogs I said that I intimidate people. Some of my close friends would say I underestimate my intelligence. Others, would say I can be cocky ( I admit that at times can be true.) and others do not know why I would be so calm and collected about my whacked up life.

Simply because I do love a challenge from time to time--and other times pushing forward lets other people see that life can be done. I do not really like the example of being a leader...or even an example. I just know at times...in an age where there are no more good ones anyways (thanks to reality t.v. and MTV (Music taking Values or sex and violence....hey, football~!!).

I am really trying to conquer my own struggles. My dislike for people and distrust with women--inside it does get a bit wacky. Or even personal ones like pornography...which has been compared to heroin. Even the secular world acknowledges that it is a problem. Ted Bundy even said that one of the reasons he become so desensitized to what he did was because of porn. This is not to say the blame is because of porn--

In the porn industry there are people who contribute to emasculation and misogynistic views. It rapes women and men too...it is like Smeagol out of Lord of The Rings. We hate what we are addicted too...and yet, we love it at the same time.

Sin.

So I think may be that is why I identify with Coltrane...the big three. With the help of God and a good friend--we are all capable of overcoming life and personal demons.

Should you need a friend I am here. And may be one day you will see Coltrane in my eyes.

Seize the Fish.