Please Sir...May I Have Some More?

"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."
- Mitch Hedberg

"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say."
- Will Durant

"A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with."
- Tennessee Williams


Hmm...the topic of intellegence always comes up in my little circles of friends. (pondering quietly to myself--) I guess...may be I do underestimate myself in areas of my life. Most of my friends are of two different fields of life...some are not gifted in the intellect (which I really admire personally--ignorance can be a blessing I think...Solemn was onto something there.) And then I have the others whose intellect is bigger than a porn star's uhm--brain.

The intellects are cool to talk too--at times they can be so annoying. I guess I never really put much thought into it. I think the reason I and the only way I can put this is in the terms of Good Will Hunting and Finding Forester.
Some of them are Mensa freaks (although I always thought it was funny that in Spanish you can come up with Menso.)

Both movies rock...the characters dealing with their emotions and intellect and all that jazz. I--for the life of me couldn't go around in literary circles and talk about cheese. I used to do okay in my classes until Mr. Margo my biology teacher changed all that for me. He saw my grades fluctuate at times and wondered if I was playing around with my grades or struggling. I was this painfully shy 15 year kid who was struggling with his world around him.

I really looked up to him. I was REALLY apprehensive when he asked my teachers if I could handle honors or advance placement classes. They asked me if I wanted honors--and all it really is more work when you boil it down. I still wanted to swim and run in my free time--so I went advance.

I still suck at math and science though.

I mention that because I think that may be people see things that I do not choose to see in myself. May be I do happen to be intellegent...who knows? By the time we covered some of those books chances were I had already read them...I just happened to see things that most people would not take time to see.

When I walk anywhere I am always taking stock of sounds, sight, people, images, place, moments...my mind can never seem to stop running. Which has always made for a bad case of insomnia my whole life.

(more inner reflection)

A lot of people are always so concerend about how they will die...I always put a lot of stock into how I will live. Dying is the easy part--living --that is the solving for X equation that most people do not want to consider. Because when you are there--there is not a thing you can do about it. While we are around we have choices to make..

The glass can always be have empty or half full. It just depends on how you look at it--are you pouring water into it or out of it? Other times things can just seem to knock the glass over...

I really want to experience love in a way that most people have never imagined.

I realize that my life has been intense and my writing and heart reflects that--and most people can not handle that...I am not out to share all my secrets mind you. I'm not trying to overshare either...but how can I relate to you as a person if you do not see me?

There are times when I think that my inner child comes out--and I have to be self-aware of how I come across to people. I think this pent up excitement and drive come out. My discipline, drive, motivation and focus and most importantly and above all my faith in Jesus Christ.

May be there is more too me and in me that I should never underestimate...I just realized my own contradiction--I hate it when people underestimate me. Because I will prove you wrong weather it is now or later. And I will. The only thing is that in my own life the only one who underestimated me---was myself.

Something more to think about.

Seize the fish.